Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
