***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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