I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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