Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
