do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
