I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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