i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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