: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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