I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
