I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
