Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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