I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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