I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
