so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
