I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
