'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
