oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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