Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
