1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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