we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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