it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
