Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
