she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
