I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
