If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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