Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ugly people sure do ruin things
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
