he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
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