Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
