one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
