the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am available for nakedness
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
