We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
