only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
