Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize
