I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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