i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
