Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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