kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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