Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
