I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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