i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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