Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
