I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
