have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
