Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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