maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
