I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
