and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
