She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
