I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Is it penis luge time yet?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
