I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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