I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
it's like iHOP with fire
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
