I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
