How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
