the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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