i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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