he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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