is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
