Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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