It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
