we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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