Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
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Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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