He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
