Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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