my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
