i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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